Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Break-up Dilemmas

I'm officially two weeks post break-up and it's now time to start dealing with the little dilemmas that go along with it...

1. Shared Friends

Who gets custody of the friends?  It's been an easy split with the majority of our friends but there are a few blurred lines.  Is it ok to say yes when his friends express interest in still including you in plans?  As long as he's not going to be there, I feel like it's fine.  By now, I consider them all my friends too.

2. Ex Boys

I think my Facebook relationship status was single for about 24 hours before I heard from two of the guys I used to date...and I came dangerously close to running off to the west coast to see one of them.  There's an emotional vulnerability that I'm not used to dealing with but hopefully I'll continue to keep it in check and not make any rash decisions.

3. Be Friends?

I am fabulous at staying friends with exes.  One moved me into my apartment in NYC.  I've written to ones in the military while they're deployed.  However, there were always less feelings involved than this time.  I'm still trying to sort out if we can make a friendship work.  Do you ever stay friends or do you cut all ties?

4. Favorite Places

We have a lot of the same favorite hangouts.  I'm not quite ready to bump into him yet so I'm planning Murphy's and Tony & Joe's trips on days I know he won't be there.

5. Therapy Shopping

Source: via Aimee on Pinterest

In the past 2 weeks I have acquired 5 new dresses, 2 new pairs of pants, and 3 new pairs of shoes...IT'S FINE.

6. Stuff

via Jezebel: How to Get Your Stuff Back After a Breakup
Luckily besides a spare tooth brush and some make-up remover, the only thing that got left behind was my spare computer charger.  I've just decided to call that one a loss.

What break-up dilemmas have you faced?  How did you deal with them?


  1. Oh girl, I'm sorry to hear about your break-up. As you may have read on all my oh-so-negative posts in the past few months that I'm going through the same thing. And right now, I'm up against the issue of running into each other. Our friends have pretty much written him off for the most part because of how our relationship ended yet he still thinks he can just show up, knowing what that will do to me and my mental unsteadiness.
    As everyone keeps saying to me (and I'm getting slightly annoyed with), everything happens for a reason and it sucks now but with time it will get better -- so annoying, right? But I'm such a sap that I don't want things to get better without him. Ugh. Break-up's suck!!!
    Feel better, girlfriend. Love you and I'm here if you ever wanna talk or vent or have a drink over skype :) haha.

  2. Oh dear, Leanna, I am so sorry to hear about your breakup ...I guess we get so wrapped up in the emotions and feelings behind a breakup we don't really think about the logistics of it.

    Stuff is stuff, but the friends are the hardest part, especially if you have been together for a while. It's a tough one.

    I hope you feel better ... and shopping is fine. In fact it's mandatory:)

  3. I think that the way you're handling things is good. Retail therapy never hurt anyone! I would say no to being friends, unless there's some invaluable thing that he offers....does that make sense? If you're not ready to run into him out, then I'd say being friends wouldn't be a good idea. I think it's easier to get past everything when they aren't there.
    Good luck girl. I'm here if you need to talk/vent/go to Happy Hour :)

  4. boo, breakups are the worst. and that cartoon nailed it haha.

  5. Well I commend you for not jetting off to the west coast. After my last break up, I took off to Europe for 2 1/2 weeks. Luckily there was no boy involved on the European scene and I just went to see friends and apply to grad schools because the very idea of being in the same country with my ex was mortifying. Good thing I smartened up and stayed in America after I finally came to my senses and returned home.

    Hope you're doing ok!

  6. It's much worse (and much more complicated) after many years of living together....
    That's supposed to make you feel better, although it probably doesn't, sorry. Just be glad you don't have a lot MORE logistics to worry about. ;) Spend time with real friends (not ones you have to question), and take care of yourself. <3