Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Making the Most of Your 20s

I've been going through a bit of self reflection lately about everything from my career, to my love life, to my relationships with friends/family, to my exercise routine...you name it...I've probably been thinking about it.  I recently stumbled upon this TED talk by Meg Jay and I couldn't resist sharing it with everyone.  She absolutely hit the nail on the head when she discusses issues 20 somethings struggle with.

I'd love to hear what you think about it after you watch it.  Her three take aways, using your 20s to build identity capital, not being afraid to reach out to your weak ties, and realizing you have the ability to pick your future family, really resonated with me.

I feel like I do an excellent job building identity capital by picking up new skills at work and immersing myself in interesting activities outside of the office.  However, the second two points are areas I need to grow in.  I often feel self conscious about reaching out to former colleagues, former classmates, or acquaintances who are outside of my core group when applying for a new job, looking to move to a new city, or inquiring about an event their organization is hosting.  If the role was reversed, I would be happy to help them out and I need to remember they likely feel the same.  Perhaps the fact that hit me the hardest was the idea of picking your own family.  I've never thought of dating and marriage in that light before but it's true...you are picking the person who will become your family and your support for the rest of your life.  I have a tendency to date horrible, self-absorbed, and semi-present men.  These are not the men I would want to be my family someday so I need to think more proactively about who I date.

After watching her talk, I'm also very interested in reading her book.  Has anyone read The Defining Decade?  What did you think?


  1. I couldn't watch her entire talk, the first part made me feel behind and inadequate, which I don't feel I should feel. While I agree that you need to live life with purpose, I don't think you need to do everything with one goal and direction in mind. Your 20s are for finding yourself and you might not know all the answers in the beginning or know who the best person for your family is, but the more you try the more data points you collect for a successful future.

  2. Can't watch the vid at work right now but will later. Just wanted to add a point to 'choosing your family'. You are also choosing your extended family & depending on your situation that may or may not be important as well. It's something I've struggled with in this relationship and am just more recently coming to terms and accepting it for what it is. Also...pick non-douche guys LOL